“The dream is free, but the hustle is sold separately”
I apologize for that horribly titled text but that isn’t what my post is really about.
So here’s the scenario:
My boyfriend’s brother proposed tonight and we were all startled to hear the news for 2 reasons: Firstly it was unexpected (but come on, it’s always a surprise isn’t it?) and secondly they’ve only been dating for about a year or even less. Please don’t get me wrong, I am extremely happy for him. What took me by surprise was when my boyfriend of 3 years asked me if I’m excited to get engaged to him (Now keep in mind I’m turning 20 and he is turning 21). My answer? Was a good old fashioned NO.
What? Did I just read right? Did she just say that she doesn’t want to marry the guy she’s been dating for 3 years?
Obviously I want to marry my boyfriend but that’s not my main priority. What is it then, you may ask?
Yes, I would like to build my own empire before I even think of getting that serious with someone else. I love being in love, I love seeing people in love but I want to know that I am happy with myself before I can put someone else before me. You see when you finally say the words “I Do” you make a promise to share a bond, a home, a life with that person. You promise that you will carry his children, cook and clean and plan a life with him (or her, just by the way) and he promises to provide for you and support you. That’s okay, I have nothing against getting married young. What I do have a problem with is people rushing into things for the wrong reasons: Moving out because I can’t stand my parents anymore or I want the ring because it’s a more solid commitment than boyfriend or girlfriend.
I still have a lot of things to do before I want to walk down the aisle or say yes to the magic question. I want my degree, I want to travel, I want to make silly decisions which lead to the best adventures, I want to meet new people and learn things about their past so that they can be lessons for my future. I want to push myself to do things that I wouldn’t even have thought of, dream big and watch things unfold, lose myself and then find myself again. There’s nothing wrong with getting married young, but if you are going to say I do, ask yourself: Have I accomplished everything that I’ve wanted to before I start supporting the dreams of someone else for the rest of my life?
Food for thought & a big congratulations to my boyfriend’s brother. Nothing makes me happier than to see that two people who are in love and have already achieved all of their dreams and plans that they have set out come together and finally become one. All of the best, can’t wait for the wedding.