Return (feelings) to sender.

Ghosted? Don’t worry, me too.

PSA: If my future husband is reading this, appreciate all the things your girl had to go through before she found you.

Ghosted: when someone cuts off all communication with you, after you’ve expressed interest or you’ve been on a date. Usually done without prior notice and with a strong possibility that you will never see that person again.

Ah, my love life. Otherwise known as a series of unfortunate events. I can’t particularly pinpoint when this “ghosting” saga started to happen so I can’t really assume that there’s a reason for all these pathetic instances. I thought it would be fun to put together a few of my favourite ghosters, so you can see that you’re not alone, or you could just have a laugh at my expense!

HE THOUGHT HE WAS TOO COOL FOR A COLOURED

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Tinder. The one place on Earth that allows me to question the male species. However, occasionally you’ll actually find a decent guy or two. Well, I think. You see, I once met this guy that liked me so much that HE started making wedding plans. So, assuming I was wifey material, I decided to see where this would go. Keep in mind that this guy is a plumber, and I didn’t think twice about it (haha, Deeanne, you idiot). Everything goes well and we make plans to meet up and see if we hit it off in person. Until one day, when he went away with his friends for a weekend.

I hate being a mom, so naturally I give him his space and wait for him to come back. I waited, and I waited… Until I got a text saying “hey” to which I responded that I hope he’s having a great time. He says “Yeah, I told my friends about you. they were not expecting me to date a coloured girl. I thought you were white!”. Slap in the face? yup. Assuming that this douche just has foot in mouth disease, I put that behind me and continue the conversation which I watched slowly die, until eventually he just stopped replying.

So not only do I attract idiots, but I attract racist plumbers too.

HE FELL ASLEEP ON ME

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I think one thing I love about my friends is that they’re willing to go above and beyond to make sure I put myself out there. So one day, my friend gives this guy my number. He didn’t message me until a few days later but I thought he was pretty cool, my mistake. He would constantly tell me that he’s super shy and not used to putting himself out there (which was becoming quite a bore, like get it together please). One thing I noticed was that whenever I tried to make plans and move on to more serious topics of conversations, he would “fall asleep” on me and only reply the next morning. Usually when he’d reply I’d be so busy with campus that I’d forget. And one day, as I plucked up the courage to make plans, he fell asleep, and never woke up. Kidding! Although that was probably the last time we spoke.

To this day, I still see him around campus wishing that the ground would swallow me up because clearly, he’s not asleep anymore.

THE GHOSTER WITH THE GIRLFRIEND

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Guys, when someone ghosts you, understand that sometimes it’s for a good reason. One thing I hate about myself is that I always seem to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s in my nature and definitely a downfall for me because I tend to be blind when it comes to people’s faults. Take this guy I knew from high school for instance. We used to be good friends even though he was older than me. One day he slides into my Facebook DM’s and hits me with this:

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This guy was smooth. I’d like to think that I myself am quite the flirt. So I decide that one more can’t do any harm, right? EH, WRONG. This guy spends the whole weekend making plans, sending a ton of voice notes and even asking to pick me up. Monday rolls around and this guy goes missing off the face of the earth. I don’t really like to read too much into these things because I myself have a life and whatever, but this guy goes missing for about a month. One day, he posts a status update and I decide to ask him where he went. He spins me a story about how he’s been busy with work and I, like the idiot I am, give him the benefit of the doubt. One night, he asks if he can take me out for a Sunday drive and dinner DATE with a sunset view. I tend to get a bit uneasy when someone asks to pick me up so I agree to meet him there the next day. Before I go to bed, he sends me a message saying “I hope my girlfriend is cool with us hanging out”.

This time, I ghosted him.

Please tell me I’m not the only idiot who attracts the worst guys ever? If so, could someone please remove the sign on my back that says “It’s okay to ghost this one”? Although I must admit, it’s pretty damn funny when I look back on it.

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Gotta Ghost!

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2017 – Year In Review.

I wanted to do a video on this, but to be honest, writing has always been my true passion.

2017, wow. Where do I begin? Everything I have achieved, lost and learned has added so much value to my life. I also wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has supported my blog, YouTube channel or even a simple follow on social media. Your kind words mean more than you will ever know.

Let me start by saying that my 2017 started off really well. I walked into the year with good health, passing my 2nd year of university, with distinction, (pops collar). I was not expecting 2017 to change my life so dramatically that it in turn changed the way I felt about myself and how I looked at life. I was invited to 2 The Body Shop events, which opened many doors for me and my blogging career. I am so grateful for every company who has reached out to me and I look forward to the events that lie ahead.

Although my year started off well, in April 2017 I came out of a 4 year relationship. This not only made me lose my best friend, but my only friend at the time. I spiraled into a deep, dark place for a while. I refused to go to campus, I would lock myself in my room and I would sulk all day and feel sorry for myself — BORING.

I took this as a learning curve and out of fear and desperation, I plastered signs all over campus looking for a lift club. Little did I know that this would in fact lead me to finding 3 of the best friends I have now. Nicole, Tamzen and Zahraa, you are truly my highlights of 2017.

Then, embarking on something a little bit out of my comfort zone. Tinder. I don’t know how I managed to find this gem of a guy, but I happened to match with a British stud muffin who I still remain friends with to this day. Unfortunately, love was not on the cards for me this year – which I am not mad about. It just means that I had more time to focus on my own goals and most importantly, myself.

Stamp passport – check. For the first time, I spread my wings and traveled to Thailand with my family, which is a memory I will cherish forever. I fell in love with the people, the culture and the food (food poisoning aside, I really hate my stomach sometimes). I got to experience a beach I have never been to, went on a walk in the middle of the night to get souvenirs (which is something you cannot do in Cape Town, because the crime rate is ridiculous) and even went snorkeling with thousands of tropical coloured fish in 3m deep water (I’m 1’54 so you can imagine how terrifying this was for me!). I crossed Krabi, The Phi Phi Islands and another island I really can’t remember the name of off my list and I really cannot wait to go back.

To end off my year, I decided to have my own giveaway in order to grow my channel and really gain a little bit of exposure for my new Instagram which I plan on posting regularly (once I get out of my slump. Ahh January) and plan to use only for reviews. If you like white feeds, my handle is sincerelydeeannetheblog. I ended off my year with 165 followers and 645 subscribers to my channel. I am so grateful for all the support, no matter how small.

I have no idea what this year holds for me, and to be honest it has not started off that well. I am just going to go with the flow and whatever happens, happens. All in God’s timing x

PERSONAL INSTAGRAMBLOG INSTAGRAM–Β  TWITTERFACEBOOK

Snapchat: just_deeanne

 

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VLOG: Life in the Fast Lane (Literally) – Audi TT Rides, Tamzen’s 21st and Wine Tasting.

If you told me last year that I would have an amazing group of friends and would be going out more often, I would’ve probably laughed at you and told you to tell someone else a joke. My life has changed so much since I came out of a 4 year relationship in April and I can honestly say I’ve never been this happy. I really enjoy going out with my friends and most importantly, I look forward to going to campus every day because I have them to look forward to. In this vlog you can come with me to go wine tasting, take a glimpse at what Tamzen’s 21st looked like and even take a spin in her new Audi TT.

 

–CLICK PLAY TO WATCH. PLEASE LIKE & SUBSCRIBE–

 

Here are a few photographs with the memories made for this vlog, what I like to call
“my life in pictures”:

–WINE TASTING @ DURBANVILLE HILLS–

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–TAMZEN’S 21ST–

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One of my favourite quotes from Harry Potter is:

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light”

Everyone creates their own happiness, if you choose to do so. For 2 weeks I refused to go to campus because I was in such a dark space and feared running into my ex at campus. Then I asked myself, why is he going around as happy as can be when I’m stuck at home feeling miserable? It was at that point when I reached rock bottom, that I knew the only place I could go was up. I really have to thank my friends for being my pillars of strength in such a dark time, but most importantly for showing me that I was happy before and I can be even happier now. I am genuinely enjoying this stage of my life and constantly meeting new people. I can’t wait to see what the future holds!

 

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This Is Goodbye.

“Please don’t get me wrong, I’ll always love the person you were. I just can’t love who you are now and what you’re becoming”

Before I start, I feel like you need to hear this.

–PRESS PLAY TO WATCH/LISTEN–

 

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t begin a new chapter of my life without closing an old one.

6 months ago, I was broken, unhappy and unmotivated. I questioned if life was worth it and I thought that the end of a relationship with someone who was your “best friend” was the end of the world. The girl I was 6 months ago hardly ever posted blog posts, felt too scared to upload YouTube videos because I didn’t have help and didn’t have any friends because I felt it was better to keep to myself.

It’s so funny to me because I would wish he’d come back and say he was wrong, apologizing for what he did, not even wishing me for my 21st birthday. When the time came and I saw this person again, there was no apology. No remorse. No care about how I was doing but merely, “what more can I get from you, knowing that you’re vulnerable?”.

Some things never change.

In my loneliness and longing, I found comfort, until I realized I wasn’t comfortable anymore.

I can honestly say that 6 months later, I feel happier. In fact, I can honestly say that I don’t even remember being this happy. I go out more, I sing in the car for the fun of it and most of all, I’m not alone anymore. I have friends, people who genuinely carry my best interest at heart.

 

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Please know this…

With the people I have in my life now, I have slowly started to erase you. In all honesty, I have you to thank for this. If I had never left, I wouldn’t have found what happiness truly feels like.

My heart doesn’t go into race mode when I see your car, my heart doesn’t drop when I see you or your friends.Β  I no longer walk into your work place praying you won’t be there.

I will always cherish what we had, but I don’t know who you are anymore and I don’t like what you’ve become.

I am happy, that is all you need to know. You don’t have to come back, you don’t need to text me to ask if I’m okay. Thank you for everything, but know that nothing more will come of this. Not a friendship, a conversation or a visit.

β€œIt is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”

After four years, this is goodbye. Not for now, but forever.

 

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