VLOG: Just a regular week in my life – journalism internship, gym and grocery shopping

 

If you’re like me and love a vlogs where we’re just running errands and getting ready for work, then I hope you’ll enjoy my latest vlog on my channel. I’ve never been comfortable with vlogging in public due to the high crime rate in my country and because I’m not always on my phone (my attempt at trying to detox from social media). I wanted to increase the content on both my blog and my YouTube channel to make up for all the time that I’ve missed when I’ve been busy with my internship.

In this vlog I’m taking you with me to work, going to the gym and I’m also going grocery shopping. What’s not to love?

On that note, I have a super exciting announcement…

I’M DOING VLOGMAS 2019.

I’m not sure what my schedule is going to look like because I will be traveling, but one thing is for sure… The content game hasn’t seen anything yet.

I’m also doing my annual Christmas giveaway (open to South African residents only) and if you’re not subscribed to my YouTube channel, now would be a good time to head over because that is one of the rules of my giveaway!

Come say hello over on my vlog channel! Responding to all my comments.

SIGNATURE

And so the adventure begins…

“May the flowers remind us why the rain was so necessary”

 

I’m not sure if I should be typing this with tears in my eyes or with content in my heart, but one thing I can say for sure is that I am at peace. As most of my followers will know, I was recently given a notice that the company I work for will no longer be hiring interns, which means that I do not have the opportunity to extend. I knew that my job wasn’t forever but I didn’t think it would be over this quickly.

I have completed 6 months of my journalism internship, which is crazy to me. It feels like just the other day I was buying a ton of stationery and getting rose gold quotes laminated so that I could have a cute little desk set up (my desk was really cute, by the way) and now it’s time for me to spread my wings and move on to another career. I’m not sure what exactly I’ll be doing, or where I’ll be going yet, but one thing I’ve come to learn is that my path has already been set out for me. God is laughing at my uncertainty right now and thinking “Is she going to trust me this time?” and as a matter of fact, I do. I saw a quote on Pinterest the other day that said “Be thankful for closed doors. They often guide us to the right one” and I don’t think I’ve ever resonated with something so deeply that it moved my soul.

I’ve always been a free-spirit. If you asked me to go on an adventure with you, I’d do it without thinking twice. I love a challenge and I’m very steadfast in my faith, so I’m basically unshakable. My internship has been the best and worst 6 months of my life. I’ve met new people (some really nice, others questionable because I wasn’t sure if they liked me, haha), had to get up at 5AM everyday and I have conquered my fear of driving long distances. I’ve been challenged and buried in work and I’ve also been enlightened and often amused at the medical content I’ve had the pleasure of researching. I’ll be writing an entirely different post on my internship experience but this is just a reminder to myself that everything is going to be ok, it always has been and it always will be. I’m currently completing my online professional diploma in social media marketing, so the possibilities are endless.

C.S. Lewis once said there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind and I am excited to keep looking forward.

To anyone dealing with unemployment, retrenchment and other forms of adversity, my Instagram DMs are always open if you need to talk. I’m sending you all my love and support, always.

But here’s to new adventures, may we walk into jobs we love and environments that make us want to get up in the morning x

98d6f838-998a-4823-a321-9c0f9dbc80f5

SIGNATURE

Chit Chat – Here’s a life update and something I think you need to hear

My new job, getting back into creating content and future plans.

I swear I haven’t written a post in so long that I had to wipe the dust off of my log in and was somewhat questioned when I started writing again (my blog went “Is that really you, Deeanne?”). But here I am, with a life update about anything and everything.

Let’s start with why I have been so quiet lately. If you’re not subscribed to my YouTube channel or following me on Instagram, then you may or may not know that I recently started my internship as an intern content producer at a really big company. As excited as I was to start my new journey, I was scared that my own content would take a back seat because I would be so busy and I was right. For me, my day starts at 5AM when I wake up from my (short) evening slumber and then it takes me about 25-35 minutes to get to work. Then from 6:30 all the way to 14:30, my day consists of creating content for my platform and basic admin tasks. It takes me about an hour to get home in the afternoons depending on traffic (I once sat in traffic for 2 hours, bless my soul and thank God I drive an automatic car) and when I get home I have to take my rabbit and guinea pigs outside for about 2 hours before I have a power nap. In between all that time I’m thinking of all the things I have to do for the next day and trust me, I don’t even get a chance to breathe, never mind go to the gym. It’s been a good few months of learning though and has really opened my eyes into the world of journalism.

On that note – I have decided that I am not sure if I will be staying with the company I am currently employed with after giving it a lot of thought. I may move to a different department and stay in the same building but it depends if there are any vacancies once my internship is over. I am currently a health writer, and as much as I enjoy writing, I felt that this was out of my comfort zone (which was great in hindsight, but in all honesty, I don’t really know that much about health), but will definitely open doors for me. I really want to work for a magazine. I’ve had my heart set on it since I was young and I think that it would suit me better as I love beauty, fashion and lifestyle. I’ve been working on my photography a lot lately and I think that it has made me realize that I want a new challenge in terms of creativity. Travel writer is still the goal, but it’s where jobs are available that moves you in different directions.

I miss writing. I always tend to make a bunch of excuses as to why, but after evaluating my situation, I’ve come to realize that it’s hard not having a photographer or anyone who can help in terms of taking photographs for OOTD posts etc. Once I figure out how I’m going to move around it, I’m sure I’ll be able to put more time into writing. As for my YouTube channel, the difficult part is finding the time to create the content and fit it into my hectic schedule, which is why I’ve started with printables. I love a plan I can see in front of me and that’s exactly what I want to start doing.

In terms of myself, for once I can say that I am really happy and I am learning to walk away from things that are not meant for me. Maybe Mark Manson was right, the secret to a great life really is choosing what to give a f*ck about (From the book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck). You can either be a victim of your circumstances or you can choose to rise above them and use them as learning experiences, the choice is up to you.

If you’re still reading this, I hope you know that you are loved, abundantly. You’re amazing and if you haven’t heard it today, I’m proud of you. Everything happens in it’s own time, trust the process. You will get the job, you will graduate, you will find that special someone. For now, enjoy where you are, because nobody ever gets the same moment twice. Take a long bath, spoil yourself and tell yourself you look pretty.

Thank you Lord for new opportunities and growth. Even if I am not where I would like to be right now, I know you’ll open doors to get where I would like to be. 

Sending love and blessings, always.

SIGNATURE

The Chronicles of the Unlucky and Unemployed – Chapter 2: Unemployment is Expensive.

PSA: To all my lovely readers in the same boat as I am, it is not our season yet. You are loved. Massively. Ferociously. Unconditionally. The universe is totally freaking out about how awesome you are. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone seeking employment at the moment x.

Another unsuccessful week has gone by in terms of the job search but we must remain hopeful. This week was incredibly difficult for me personally because I felt like I had really hit an all time low when it came to looking for work. I know, everything happens in it’s own time (God has his timing and it’s just not my season yet). However, I wanted to touch on something that has touched me personally and that I feel is not talked about enough among graduates from university or unemployed job seekers.

Recruitment processes. I have a love-hate relationship with them. Obviously it forms part and parcel of getting a job which is understandable, but I’m talking about processes that can take anywhere from weeks to months. I love the idea of getting to know the company and seeing what life is like behind the scenes, but I don’t think that businesses understand how expensive processes like these are, especially if there’s a chance that the potential employee might not be hired at all. To give you guys a bit of background, I recently went through a strenuous recruitment process which took place over the course of a month. It required me to be in different parts of town, which included central and north (about 30-40 minute drives each for me) and also required studying and completing assessments. I know I’m going to sound like a complete geek, but I genuinely enjoyed the studying aspect. Being fresh out of university gave me that competitive edge and I’m not new to burning the midnight oil in order to ace results. However, two steps away from the final interview, I was told that they would not be moving forward with me with that recruitment process. What killed me was that I had put so much time and effort in because I really, really wanted this job and I thought I was a perfect fit. Not only that, but after a month of patiently waiting for answers, buying new clothes to meet whom I thought would be my potential employee, filling up my tank to drive to the other side of town and purchasing a few odds and ends (like printing study notes, etc.), I found myself really broke.

I am truly fortunate to have my own car, but I don’t think people understand that not everyone has their own forms of transportation. As someone who only got her car a few months ago, I decided it would be best to Uber to town as I wasn’t comfortable driving to town on my own in peak morning traffic. Luckily my grandfather offered to take me (and might I add, took me through his work which made a really nifty shortcut). However, if I had to Uber to town that would’ve cost me about R250 from where I live (which would have totalled a whopping R500 for me to get back home), R300 to take me to the North side of town (R600 total to get home) and add in the fact that I needed a white blouse (which was requested by the employer) which I could only find at Woolworths for some reason (I won’t even mention the price, but please know it cost me a pretty penny) and of course if you didn’t have internet and you needed to communicate back and forth (to complete my assessment) which would have probably cost around R50 for printing as well. If my total is correct (maths was never my strong suit) this process could have cost close to the tune of R1250 for someone who used Uber. All of this, just to be told that you didn’t get the job.

I’m not necessarily upset about the situation anymore,  because looking back, I genuinely enjoyed the recruitment process and I understand now that maybe I was destined for something better. I just feel that it is quite unfair for unemployed students or job seekers to have to go through such extensive recruitment processes when it is evident that we lack certain criteria for the job. In my case, I was told that I was too young and lacked “life experience”. In my CV, the first bit of information under my name is my date of birth and in my academic history it is stated that I graduate this year.

The job search in itself is already so hard and it is evident that one of the biggest groups that suffer the most is students who have just graduated from university. Not everyone has money to complete some of these processes too, which is heartbreaking. Moral of the story: unemployment is expensive. My heart really goes out to people who use public transport or have to use internet cafes to get work done, it really does impact on the pocket. Not to mention, over the course of a month, it was possible to find other opportunities as well, but you’re so focused on the recruitment process you’re already in because you think you’re so close to the finish line.

What are your thoughts on recruitment processes?

A new week. Let’s go.

We kap aan.

SIGNATURE

 

 

My Updated Skincare Routine featuring Cetaphil Oil Control Range & Tips For Keeping Acne at Bay

I may or may not have had a killer dance party in this video, you’re welcome x

Please Note: None of the links below are affiliate links, I’m just genuinely trying to help you find these products! x

Anyone who knows me personally will know that I have struggled for the longest time with hormonal acne. My skin is extremely sensitive to heat and I often find myself breaking out after a heat rash. I’ve tried almost everything on the market and I never found any product that I could swear by religiously. Someone suggested I try out Cetaphil as it comes highly recommended by dermatologists. The first thing I tried out was the gentle skin cleanser which worked treat for my skin but wasn’t really helping with my oily skin. After doing some research, I found that Cetaphil actually has a range for acne prone skin. Cetaphil didn’t have to say anything more, I said they could take my money.

Cetaphil’s DermaControl range is formulated for acne prone skin. It is specifically designed for oil control so for all my oily girls, this is definitely something I’d recommend. I often worry that products like this will be very drying on my sensitive skin but that was not the case for me. I loved how gentle the foam wash was on my skin because a part of me always felt that if the product doesn’t foam then it isn’t working. The smell tends to bother some people as some people say it does tend to have a bit of a clincal smell, but it really doesn’t bother me.

Can we please talk about how much my photography skills have improved? I captured these on my Canon 200D using an EF 50mm f/1.8 lens.

10795012176_IMG_5471

 

I use the daily foam wash in conjunction with my Safeway Facial Cleanser. I love the rubber head because it’s the most gentle on my skin and it doesn’t irritate my skin as much as the exfoliating head does. If you’re looking for a pretty cool dupe for the Clarasonic Mia and you really don’t want to spend an arm and a leg, I got this baby for R150 at Clicks, thank me later. The head does alternate directions and is standard battery operated (AA). It comes with 3 different heads, but I only use the rubber head.

 

10794217616_IMG_5475

 

10795082224_IMG_5477

With regards to the moisturizer, I love the fact that it’s not a thick consistency and it doesn’t leave my skin feeling greasy. When my skin gets oily, I find myself breaking out more. I wear this underneath my make-up but I’ve noticed that my foundation (The LA Girl Pro Coverage foundation) tends to leave my skin oily after a few hours of wear. If anyone has any recommendations for a great full coverage matte foundation, please let me know! Due to the fact that the bottle is relatively small, I do tend to use this sparingly.

My only con about this product is the heavy price tag it comes with. Although I do understand that it is a great product and that it comes highly recommended, these products are really expensive. If you know my current situation, you would know that I am currently a graduate seeking employment and if I don’t get a job soon and my skincare products run out, I doubt I’ll be able to replenish them. I usually purchase my skincare products from Clicks or Dischem depending on where I can find them on special. Clicks is currently having a 3 for 2 on their Cetaphil products. The Cetaphil DermaControl Oil Control Moisturizer retails for R238,00 (118ml) while the DermaControl Foam Wash retails for R189,00 (236ml). Unfortunately, I cannot find the same facial cleanser as pictured above as I’ve had it for about a year, but I’ve found a similar one here which retails for R139,00.

I have been actively trying to work on my skincare since I am no longer on the pill, which really helped for my acne. I left some of my favourite tips in my video but I’ll leave a few here too:

  • I like to stay hydrated. Water is so important, I love flavoured water even though it contains more sugar, it helps with my water intake.
  • I try to wear my hair out of my face as much as I can because the grease from your hair can cause your skin to break out.
  • I’ve transitioned somewhat to almond milk instead of normal milk. Regular milk contains hormones which conflict with our hormones and result in hormonal breakouts.
  • Going to bed with make-up on? Never heard of her. I cannot get into bed with make-up on my face as it feels super gross and I know it can only result in breakouts. I love the Garnier Micellar Water which is so gentle on my skin and the best for removing make-up. I use this in conjunction with the Nature’s Nourishment Rooibos Wipes

Do you have any tips or tricks you use to keep your skin clear? If so, let me know in the comments! x

SIGNATURE

The Chronicles of the Unlucky and Unemployed – Chapter 1: Experience.

I want to pretend like I’m not writing this with tears streaming down my face and that I’m not struggling to get oxygen into my lungs, but hey it’s the truth and I am an absolute mess.

kris jenner mess

Ok, maybe that was a little bit dramatic.

Yet again I have received the soul crushing e-mail which basically says “thank you so much for putting all your time and effort into this job that we for sure looked like we were going to give you, but in actual fact we’ve only got more bad news…”

Rejection is not new to me if I’m being completely honest. Been through the job search, got the e-mails saying you’ve done great for yourself but we just don’t think you’re the right fit, blah blah blah. I’m not bothered by the rejection aspect at all, what bothers me is the fact that this process took about a solid three weeks, which required me to go into town for an interview, study for a week to write an assessment (which I aced with a solid 87% by the way) and then a whole work day on the other side of town (my petrol tank did the things guys), dedicated to learning more about what life in the business is like (sounds like they were literally preparing me to get ready for the job, right?). But, this morning I open up my e-mail to find those words we all love to hear:

“thank you so much for your application, but we’ve decided that we’re not going to move forward with you for this recruitment process”

Perfect.

simon cowell gif.gif

Obviously my hurt butt wanted to know exactly what the heck I did wrong, so naturally I had to pretend like I wasn’t falling apart so they could provide me with feedback and I kid you not, this was the response:

“The team thought you were very sweet, and clearly you were passionate about working here. You’re role play (yes, they actually made me do a painfully awkward role play) was excellent, so well done. This position comes with daily challenges and stresses and after careful consideration, the team felt that you are still quite young and inexperienced and perhaps you may not be able to handle those stresses and challenges just yet. So we recommend gaining some more life skills and experience and then you are welcome to re-apply in a years time.”

wow ok gif.gif

I have no words.

Really, I don’t. You see, age and experience you can tell from the get-go, so why was this not evident in the first round of my interviews? Most importantly, can someone please tell me where I was supposed to find experience when:

  1. I’ve been studying for the past 4 years and will get my degree next month.
  2. I’ve been balancing a job on top of my studies in order to make a bit of money on the side.
  3. You know these posts I write occasionally and those videos I make on YouTube? yeah, throw those into the mix too.

So, now what? Well, I guess the search starts from all over again. So please pray for me as I pull together the last few cents I have to go through this all. over. again.

Graduates, I feel ya’ll on a spiritual level when I say that unemployment is expensive.

help me i'm poor

Unfortunately, it doesn’t get any better. Fun fact: South African graduates fall part of the large unemployment statistics because most companies in South Africa are not willing to hire students with no prior work experience. Don’t believe me? Check this out for yourself:

 

So let’s just get this straight: I spent 12 years in the schooling system just to obtain a matric certificate, followed by 4 years studying in the hopes of obtaining my degree (which I will receive next month). While balancing my studies I could only do part-time work as I could not commit to full-time employment (duh). Yet, it is my country who would like me to pull experience out of thin air before I can apply for an entry-level job. Yikes.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am still part of the South African unemployment statistics. Yup, it is I, who has just completed a 4 year degree in English and Communications while balancing a job in marketing, who has poured her heart and soul into creating content and of course who is constantly plagued by those unlucky e-mails trying to push me into a deep, dark place where alcohol is rife and the devil laughs at your misfortune.

Unfortunately for me, I can’t stand the taste of alcohol and I think I’ve had enough misfortune so that if the devil ever told me I’d never be able to withstand the storm, I’d whisper in his ear “babe, I am the storm”.

and so it continues, the chronicles of the unlucky and unemployed.

In the words of a true Capetonian, we kap aan.

SIGNATURE

The First Week of January Went Like This: Weekly Recap 2019.

“You know all those things you’ve always wanted to do? You should go do them”

–CLICK PLAY TO WATCH, PLEASE LIKE & SUBSCRIBE X–

And so another year begins. Happy new year to all, I trust that this year will be filled with everything your heart desires and nothing but success and happiness wherever you go. I don’t particularly enjoy making new year’s resolutions, after all you have 365 days to be the change you want to see in the world. Whether you start on the first of January or the middle of August, it makes no difference as long as you get the job done. I have a video going up soon about the goals I aim to achieve in 2019, but that has been put on hold until the job hunt bears fruit. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as this is the year I’m thrown into the working world and trust that I myself am keeping the job seekers in my thoughts at this time too.

The first week of January was a whirlwind to say the least. The year began with a spontaneous adventure to the gym, which was very hard for me personally as I am still learning to love all my curves and edges.

On the second of January I said goodbye to my grandfather as I had planned to leave for vacation the next day. I’ve always hated hospitals and this time was no different. As my grandfather has Alzheimers, he could not remember me but held my hand for the last time. A bittersweet moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.

img_5100

They say good things come in three’s. On the third of January, I packed my camera and lenses in for a trip to Montagu with my grandparents (my mom’s parents), mother, brother and dad. I love road trips, it sparks my sense of adventure and gets my creativity flowing (yes, I made a travel diary). I decided that on this vacation, I wanted to explore more and get out of my comfort zone. Not before I got a few shots for Instagram though.

img_4955

To be honest, I don’t really remember what happened on the 4th of January. I think I decided to take a break from everything and just enjoy what the resort had to offer. For those wondering, my family and I stayed in the chalets in Montagu Springs. It’s self catering apartments and I loved every minute of it. I’ve grown up staying in hotels and this was so different. Although I did end up sleeping on the couch because I tend to get claustrophobic in dark spaces and the kiddies room is as tiny as a cupboard. But hey, all part of the adventure! I also tried poitjiekos for the first time and I have to say, I loved it! Apparently I’ve had it when I was younger but I really don’t remember having it so it does not count. I also stepped behind the camera a few times, my favourite shots to capture are the unexpected ones.

img_4734

The 5th of January brought about somewhat of an adventure. I decided to golf with the boys. On my mom’s side of the family, all my cousins are boys and on my dad’s side of the family, all my cousins are girls. Nonetheless, we made a day out of it. Although I suck at most sports, I did take a few great shots (emphasis on a few). Montagu has an amazing golf course which offers scenic views and a breathtaking landscape, which makes for an amazing backdrop for photos! Although I was in charge of driving the golf cart, that didn’t mean I couldn’t steal my cousin (who is an amazing photographer) for a few minutes to take a few photos.

img_4816

img_4803

img_4904

The 6th of January was the day we as a family decided to make the most out of the last day we had left. Unfortunately, this would also be the day that my grandfather would leave this world and become one of the angels above, watching over the rest of our family. RIP Pa, I love you. These are some of the shots we took on the day, which you can find on my Instagram

img_5048

img_5049

The 7th of January just meant packing up to go home. If anyone knows me, I am the type of person who loves to sleep on roadtrips, I’m a pro napper indeed. I’m truly grateful that I made it home safely, but it’s time for me to get back to my passion which is writing and creating content. I am currently on the job hunt, so please remember to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

SIGNATURE

 

Behind the blog: The truth about why I stopped blogging & took a break from social media

It feels so weird to sit down and write this because I haven’t written a post in what feels like months. It’s terribly sad, because I love this blog. Heck, I pay almost R500 a year keeping this blog going, but I never really made use of it and I felt that I should explain myself…

When people stop blogging, others assume that they stopped for the following reasons:

  1. It was just a phase, that person didn’t really have the intention of actually becoming a blogger.
  2. It was for the freebies and all those nice perks that come with having a blog
  3. The blogger was just downright lazy and doesn’t actually have what it takes to be a real blogger.

Okay, maybe number 3 is partially true but not enough reason to keep my blog going, so why is it still up? Why am I still here and why on earth am I even writing this?

You see, in 2015, when blogging was still relatively new, I walked into university and I was honestly so unhappy with my classes, I felt that I needed an outlet. I loved writing, from a very young age I always had my nose in a book and every month I would ask my mom to buy countless magazines just so I could read articles and get beauty freebies. So I turned my love for beauty, fashion and lifestyle into a blog. I knew absolutely nothing, but I liked that I had my own little place on the internet where my voice actually mattered. People were leaving lovely comments, following me on social media, asking to know more about me. And so began Sincerely Deeanne.

However, with all of this came its challenges. As my blog and following grew, so did the blogging world and people who also wanted to jump on the bandwagon. My passion that burned so wildly for blogging was slowly but surely being put out and here’s why:

Blogging became a numbers game

Once I had hit about 3000 followers on my old account (which has since been deactivated since my account had been compromised), there was suddenly a large demand for even more numbers. I was so confused. I didn’t understand why I needed a reach larger than what I had already, but companies didn’t care, they needed tens of thousands of followers if not more in order to be reached out to and to work with you. Now don’t get me wrong, if a brand doesn’t want to work with me, I don’t take it to heart. I take it as a challenge. But then it became a regular occurrence. I wasn’t big enough, I wasn’t busy enough and eventually I felt like my blog was not good enough. My favourite occurrence that grates my TITS is when you put your life and soul into a post thinking it’s so good and a brand responds with a heart emoji. Wow, okay. Next time instead of that heart emoji, you might as well send me the middle finger because you basically told me to get lost and take my content with me, because you couldn’t care less. This is what contributed to the lack of posts, as I couldn’t afford to review every brand out there on a student budget. Not to mention the hype around people with fake followers. Even though I read an article that actually supported people buying fake followers, it was just something that I couldn’t see myself doing. Firstly because I felt like it was an easy way out instead of actually taking the time to get to know your followers and secondly because even if for some crazy reason I actually wanted to, I wouldn’t be able to afford it (girl, when I say I’m hella cheap I mean I AM DEAD. ASS. CHEAP.). What hit me the most was that I had learned that people with huge followings were making money off of creating content, even though they weren’t actually content creators. I never went into blogging for money, so I was disheartened to learn that people with fake followers would make money off of something that I genuinely enjoyed doing.

Click, Click, Snap

The average blogger posts almost twice daily. Instagram algorithm, blah blah. So I decided to do it too. What I didn’t realize was that it was becoming so exhausting. I constantly had to have images ready, make sure my feed was in order, manage accounts, tag brands, make sure the picture is good enough to be featured. This lead to me becoming unhealthily obsessed with the way I looked. I would fuss over every picture of myself and would delete almost 30 posts at one point just because I didn’t like how I looked in photos. If friends tagged me in photos that I thought I couldn’t associate with my brand, I’d have that tag removed faster than you can say “selfie”. I became more focused on products and featuring that rather than beauty and lifestyle posts associated with myself. I became a victim of the gram sham. Where my life looked pretty darn dandy on camera but was falling apart in real life. This lead me to take a break from social media to focus on myself.

PR Lists & all the glitz

Who doesn’t love PR? I remember my first PR package. It was a gift from Cosmetix and even though it was probably the smallest gift ever, I was finally being recognized and sent all these nice things. Don’t get me wrong, I love the thrill of being asked for my delivery address and waking up to the delivery man dropping off something nice. That was until I stopped receiving them on a whole. No, I didn’t go into blogging for PR — please don’t come for me. When I would see other people getting PR, I would over analyze and I would think that maybe I was doing something wrong. What if I wasn’t good enough? What can I do to be better? This is what lead to all the unhealthy comparisons and endless nights I would spend crying because I finally felt like my blog had maybe reached its expiry date.

Compensation station

Here’s one of the real kickers. I’m not necessarily angry about this situation but I felt like it did contribute to me asking myself “why the actual heck am I still doing this?”. I was once e-mailed by a brand asking to be featured on my blog every week as promotion for their clothing line. I love clothes so I thought, wow. A brand actually wants me to regularly curate content for them. Then, they continued to say that as compensation, they would offer me a 10% discount code that I could provide to my readers. Yup, you got it ladies and gentlemen. A whole ass 10%. I feel like I need to add that their clothes weren’t exactly cheap. This is another problem that I feel has become an issue in the blogging world. So many companies and brands expect bloggers to work for them for free. Yes, it’s work. We don’t just sit around and take pretty photos and go to events like people think. We take time out of our day to create posts and spend hours shooting products, even though we’ll end up with 50 images and only be happy with one. Not to mention the effort it takes to share our content because it’s not just going to sit on the blog and market itself. The cherry on the cake: I was only offered that discount because I was considered a “small blogger”. As if all the hard work I had done was great but not good enough. I felt like someone had given me a pat on the back and said “yup, that’s nice and all but we don’t really care because your numbers aren’t big enough”.

Life happens.

2018 was not the best of years for me. My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and is currently in a weak state as he is deteriorating, I quit my job as a promoter and no longer had an income to buy products to review, I have no job security for next year and my final year of varsity kicked me so hard in the butt that I didn’t even know if I was coming or going. Yes, there are people in more terrible situations than myself and I count my blessings each and every day but my mental health had taken such a toll at this point that I decided to leave my keyboard for good and focus on my studies. It happens. Yet here we are, 1257 words later and we’re still going.

Call me lazy, silly or even weird for thinking that these reasons justify my absence in the blogging world, but truth be told, it’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the damn truth. I love this blog with all my heart and soul and I am grateful for every opportunity that it had afforded me. It’s still my little place on the internet where I matter and that will never change. My passion for creating content still burns wildly inside me and will never die, it’s just that it has to be fueled again. It will, when the blogging world least expects it.

 

SIGNATURE

 

Mental Health, Break-Ups & Fake Friends! TMI Tag [30 day blogging challenge]

 

If there’s one thing I love, it’s being open and honest about issues that matter. In this video, I get real with you about issues like mental health, boyfriends, break-ups and fake friends.

I did the TMI Tag with questions from YouTube Society (if you decide to do this tag yourself, please send me your links so that I can support you) and the questions are as follows:

  1. What are you wearing?
  2. Ever been in love?
  3. Had a terrible break-up?
  4. How tall are you?
  5. How much do you weigh?
  6. Any tattoos?
  7. Any piercings?
  8. OTP? (One True Pairing/Favourite Couple)
  9. Favourite show?
  10. Favourite bands?
  11. Something you miss?
  12. Favourite song?
  13. How old are you?
  14. Zodiac sign?
  15. Quality you look for in a partner?
  16. Favourite quote?
  17. Favourite actor?
  18. Favourite colour?
  19. Loud music or soft?
  20. Where do you go when you are sad?
  21. How long does it take you to shower?
  22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
  23. Ever been in a physical fight?
  24. Turn on?
  25. Turn off?
  26. The reason I joined YouTube?
  27. Fears?
  28. The last thing that made you cry?
  29. Last time you said you loved someone?
  30. Meaning behind your YouTube name?
  31. Last book you read?
  32. Book you are currently reading?
  33. Last show you watched?
  34. Last person you talked to?
  35. The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
  36. Favourite food?
  37. Place you want to visit?
  38. Last place you were?
  39. Do you have a crush?
  40. Last time you kissed someone?
  41. Last time you were insulted?
  42. Favourite flavour of candy?
  43. What instruments do you play?
  44. Favourite piece of jewellery?
  45. Last sport you played?
  46. Last song you sang?
  47. Favourite chat up line?
  48. Have you ever used it?
  49. Last time you hung out with anyone?
  50. Who should answer these questions next?

On that note, this is my first blog post for the 30 day blogging challenge. I have decided to get my views up because for some reason my views and interaction on posts have been relatively low. The last time I did the 30 day blogging challenge, my interaction and stats sky-rocketed and I just enjoyed challenging myself when it came to new and innovative posts. If you would like, I’ll have a post related to a bunch of blogging ideas so that you can start your challenge too!

INSTAGRAM | YOUTUBE CHANNEL | TWITTER | FACEBOOK PAGE

Snapchat: just_deeanne

SIGNATURE

22.

This is the part of my life where I silently remove myself from anyone who hurts me more than they love me, drains me more than they replenish me, brings me more stress than they do peace, and tries to stunt my growth rather than clap for it.

As I sit in the library on this Monday morning, after running around to hand in an assignment that I had written down an incorrect due date for (ah, the beauty of age), I can’t help but reflect. I realize that sometimes bad things happen, and that’s okay. I’ve also come to realize that as much as I love being with my friends and going to parties, I no longer enjoy the atmosphere that comes with it. I can be in a room full of people and be there physically but that no longer satisfies my desire for intellectual and stimulating conversation, being in the comfort of my own home and more importantly, preparing for the big bad world out there when I leave UWC. Growing older has taught me that we cannot be there for everyone and that’s okay. It’s opened my eyes to the fact that people can be in your circle, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re your friend. I’ve also come to understand that my mental health is way more important than maintaining toxic friendships because I’m too kind to cut people off.

On the other hand, I’ve learned that being mature is better than making irrational and petty decisions. It’s okay to congratulate your ex for graduating if you were part of the journey with them or wish them for their birthday, even if you’re no longer together. It’s okay to greet people you may have drifted apart from, even if you don’t talk as much as you used to. I’ve come to understand how important it is to remind your family and that you love them and fights are so unnecessary. Maturity is being able to walk away from situations that costs me my peace, because peace is expensive.

In terms of relationships, I’ve learned that love really is worth waiting for, but it’s not worth missing out on life. The best love stories are ones that happened unexpectedly. With that being said, I will wait for the man who respects me and supports me for who and what I truly am and everything I am yet to become. One day, someone is going to look at me like I am the best thing in the world and when that happens, I’ll be reminded that it was definitely worth the wait. I would rather spend my life living in the moment and be surprised by what happens than expect it every minute of the day, and that’s okay too.

Most importantly, I’ve come to understand the value of being happy for other people’s successes, no matter how small. Before, I would always get despondent when people were doing better than me or moving at a faster pace, but I’ve learned that God has his own timing, and I need to trust that, because “blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her” (Luke 1:45). I want to celebrate the success of others knowing that one day they might want to celebrate with me, I want to be there for people that may not have made it as far as I have but encourage them to keep going. And no matter what happens, I will always treat the cleaner the same way I would treat the CEO, because character is how you treat people who can do nothing for you. I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I trust him and that is all that matters.

Being 22 means that I now have more blessings to count, more challenges to face and a whole world out there waiting to be seen. I cannot wait to make memories all over the world and I already love the people I have not yet met. I promise to let go of things that no longer serve purpose, celebrate the little things and moments, move on from things I have no control over and to find happiness in everything, because nobody is allowed to take my happiness away from me without my permission.

Jen Sincero once said:

“You are loved. Massively. Ferociously. Unconditionally. The Universe is totally freaking out about how awesome you are. It’s got you wrapped in a warm gorilla hug of adoration. It wants to give you everything you desire. It wants you to be happy.  It wants you to see what it sees in you”

So, here’s to the nights that will turn into mornings, friends who become family, my future husband and the amazing family we’re going to have, the places I have yet to explore and make memories in and to everlasting happiness and great success. Also, I couldn’t help myself but to include a late women’s day message which is appropriate for National Women’s day, the day after my birthday.

Here’s to strong women. May we know them, may we be them, may we raise them – Stacey Bendet

Happy Birthday, Deeanne.

SIGNATURE