I tried OKCupid (worldwide) for a month and here’s what happened…

The world of online dating has become somewhat humorous to me. After downloading and deeply regretting having Tinder for a while, I deleted it thinking that I was not going to put myself through that ever again. Until I saw an ad for OKCupid. Now, keep in mind that I knew it was a dating app. What I didn’t know is that you can actually use it to meet like-minded people and make new friends from across the world. Having absolutely nothing to lose and add in the fact that I’m on winter break, you have me over here writing my thoughts on my experiences using the app.

HOW IT WORKS:

Unlike Tinder, OKCupid is not the same as diving right in after posting your best selfies. In actual fact, before you can use the app, you have to answer a series of questions so that the app can set you up with people who you have a number of things in common with. Questions can range from what you’re looking for on OKCupid all the way to what you’d like to change about the world, and then some. At first, answering these questions were really cool because it’s almost as if people want to get to know you, but after a while it became very tedious. Once you’re done answering a few questions, you add your best photos of yourself (with a few great compliments every time you successfully upload a picture, I really liked this feature) and there you go, you’re all set.

This is what your profile looks like once you’ve added your photos:

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Once you’ve added your basic information, this is what others will see:

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MEETING NEW PEOPLE:

On OKCupid, you do swipe left and right like Tinder with the added bonus of getting to know new people by reading their bios (Ok, I’ll admit it’s exactly like Tinder but people actually have their act together). Next to their names, there’s actually a percentage match designed by OKCupid to tell you how much you have in common with that person, which could tell you whether or not you’d make a good match. This is great but I don’t think you can accurately match people by percentages when you take into consideration that men are actually really lazy and hate doing these types of things. I can’t tell you how many times my guy friends have told me that they’re willing to lie in their bios simply because they want to impress ladies or that they don’t even bother reading bios in the first place. That I can believe, because when I used to be on Tinder, a lot of guys would send the most disgusting messages despite my bio explicitly stating that I’m not into hook-up culture.

You’re allowed to message anyone on OKCupid, but they won’t know you’ve received it until you choose to answer or they have A-List, which is similar to Tinder Gold, a paid service which allows you to access certain features like boosting your profile to increase your matches or a higher success rate of matching with someone you like. This is the only thing I don’t like about the app. You see, the app will notify you that someone has liked you (so far, I’ve been liked by over 1000 people) but they won’t tell you who it is unless they’ve messaged you, so you basically have to guess. Due to this, you have to sift through all the profiles or you have to state in your bio that you can’t see likes (so the person can message you, you can see messages).

You’d think that because I have over 1000 matches that I’d have found the perfect man by now, right? Haha, wrong. You see, I’ve matched with a few people from all over the world who can’t even string together a decent conversation or people who message me with “hey, how are you?”. Come on guys, you can do better than that. I have however made a few great friends who are nothing short of excellent when it comes to banter. Knowing that long distance isn’t really going to work for me at this stage (I am contemplating teaching English in the Far East/Dubai), knowing that others are on the same page and are in it for the giggles like me is always a plus. I’ve left my favourite messages I’ve received here for you guys to laugh at, or if you’re curious:

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It’s 2018, ok. More power to the females

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Not going to lie, this one kind of freaked me out a bit.

OKCUPID VS. TINDER

I find these apps relatively similar. Basically it’s photos and a bio, except Tinder is very popular when it comes to hook-ups, which is the main reason I deleted my account. I like OKCupid because it allows you to connect with people all over the world and your profile is tailored to what you’re looking for in terms of friendship, meeting new people, short-term dating, long-term dating or hookup. The only gripe I have is that I can’t see who’s liked me and you’re only allowed to match with a certain amount of people before OKCupid sends you a message to tell you that you have to set up a date with your matches once your number of matches has reached max (because I’m totally going to order chinese with someone in the U.S, living in South Africa). I find Tinder to be faster in terms of matches, but I’d say OKCupid is definitely a step ahead in terms of exploring your options all over the world. If you’re actually looking to find something solid, I’d recommend this app rather than Tinder.

THE VERDICT

Did I find the love of my life on OKCupid?

No.

Did I make new friends across the world (and gain a few Instagram followers in the process? shameless self-promo, ya know?)

Yes.

Keep the app?

No. I find it to be quite boring and although it is a better option than Tinder, I still feel like it’s a way to make money off of people. Realistically, I don’t think I would be able to “fall in love” with someone on the internet without meeting them first. 1 because I am terribly afraid of being catfished (although I know exactly what to look for, some people are repugnant when it comes to playing games with people) and two, I’m a very good judge of character in person. We could have fireworks going off in our conversation and meet up in person and well, crickets. I like the idea of meeting new people, but that’s about it. Love is definitely not on the map (see what I did there?) for me with regards to OKCupid.

RATING

6.5/10.

Have you ever tried dating apps? If so, let me know which ones are your favourite. I personally would just like to meet new people for now, pen pals welcome!

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Snapchat: just_deeanne

signing out of my dating profile!

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Return (feelings) to sender.

Ghosted? Don’t worry, me too.

PSA: If my future husband is reading this, appreciate all the things your girl had to go through before she found you.

Ghosted: when someone cuts off all communication with you, after you’ve expressed interest or you’ve been on a date. Usually done without prior notice and with a strong possibility that you will never see that person again.

Ah, my love life. Otherwise known as a series of unfortunate events. I can’t particularly pinpoint when this “ghosting” saga started to happen so I can’t really assume that there’s a reason for all these pathetic instances. I thought it would be fun to put together a few of my favourite ghosters, so you can see that you’re not alone, or you could just have a laugh at my expense!

HE THOUGHT HE WAS TOO COOL FOR A COLOURED

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Tinder. The one place on Earth that allows me to question the male species. However, occasionally you’ll actually find a decent guy or two. Well, I think. You see, I once met this guy that liked me so much that HE started making wedding plans. So, assuming I was wifey material, I decided to see where this would go. Keep in mind that this guy is a plumber, and I didn’t think twice about it (haha, Deeanne, you idiot). Everything goes well and we make plans to meet up and see if we hit it off in person. Until one day, when he went away with his friends for a weekend.

I hate being a mom, so naturally I give him his space and wait for him to come back. I waited, and I waited… Until I got a text saying “hey” to which I responded that I hope he’s having a great time. He says “Yeah, I told my friends about you. they were not expecting me to date a coloured girl. I thought you were white!”. Slap in the face? yup. Assuming that this douche just has foot in mouth disease, I put that behind me and continue the conversation which I watched slowly die, until eventually he just stopped replying.

So not only do I attract idiots, but I attract racist plumbers too.

HE FELL ASLEEP ON ME

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I think one thing I love about my friends is that they’re willing to go above and beyond to make sure I put myself out there. So one day, my friend gives this guy my number. He didn’t message me until a few days later but I thought he was pretty cool, my mistake. He would constantly tell me that he’s super shy and not used to putting himself out there (which was becoming quite a bore, like get it together please). One thing I noticed was that whenever I tried to make plans and move on to more serious topics of conversations, he would “fall asleep” on me and only reply the next morning. Usually when he’d reply I’d be so busy with campus that I’d forget. And one day, as I plucked up the courage to make plans, he fell asleep, and never woke up. Kidding! Although that was probably the last time we spoke.

To this day, I still see him around campus wishing that the ground would swallow me up because clearly, he’s not asleep anymore.

THE GHOSTER WITH THE GIRLFRIEND

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Guys, when someone ghosts you, understand that sometimes it’s for a good reason. One thing I hate about myself is that I always seem to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s in my nature and definitely a downfall for me because I tend to be blind when it comes to people’s faults. Take this guy I knew from high school for instance. We used to be good friends even though he was older than me. One day he slides into my Facebook DM’s and hits me with this:

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This guy was smooth. I’d like to think that I myself am quite the flirt. So I decide that one more can’t do any harm, right? EH, WRONG. This guy spends the whole weekend making plans, sending a ton of voice notes and even asking to pick me up. Monday rolls around and this guy goes missing off the face of the earth. I don’t really like to read too much into these things because I myself have a life and whatever, but this guy goes missing for about a month. One day, he posts a status update and I decide to ask him where he went. He spins me a story about how he’s been busy with work and I, like the idiot I am, give him the benefit of the doubt. One night, he asks if he can take me out for a Sunday drive and dinner DATE with a sunset view. I tend to get a bit uneasy when someone asks to pick me up so I agree to meet him there the next day. Before I go to bed, he sends me a message saying “I hope my girlfriend is cool with us hanging out”.

This time, I ghosted him.

Please tell me I’m not the only idiot who attracts the worst guys ever? If so, could someone please remove the sign on my back that says “It’s okay to ghost this one”? Although I must admit, it’s pretty damn funny when I look back on it.

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Gotta Ghost!

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